For the record, I don’t like to be bitten … so keep your bloody fangs away. Kids these days …

“I do not drink more than a sponge.” —Rabelais, 17th-century French satirist

Four days till vacation. I’ve seen some great deals at Florida resorts, especially along the Gulf.

Don’t forget … it’s Bell’s Day at the Louisville Beer Store (746 E. Market St.) from noon-2 a.m. I didn’t have room in my column to list all the beers that’ll be on tap, so here they are: •Hopslam •Batch 9000 (Imperial Stout) •Bourbon Barrel Hell Hath No Fury •Rye Stout •Expedition Stout •Oberon •Two [...]

For $100,000, I’d serve Lindsay Lohan’s jail time for her. Think she’ll take me up on the offer? We could swap places — like “Freaky Friday.” I’m sure she’ll do just fine writing about Louisville’s nightlife.