Random fan mail of the week …

Sometimes, emails like this show up in my inbox. Should I be flattered or call security?

Dear Bar Belle:

The Reds will play an exibit. game against the Bats at 4 or so
It’s a Saturday, so I’ll be shit-faced by 2.

Opening Day at The Great American is sold out again.
Daylight savings coming early this year, beware!
On this day in 1942, my father traveled from St. Louis to
Cincinnati to enlist in the Army via passenger rail service.
Medical Branch, Radiology. 
X-rays and the like. He was 22.
Overqualified, he was told to report to his nearest examination
point, hence, St. Louis.
Dad and his sperm survived and I was born in 1951. Mom looked
alot like Genna Davis when she was young.
Genna Davis can give me an instant hard-on.
Mother fixture? 
I visit my mothers grave just to make sure she hasn’t escaped.
I keep hearing “I told you so” in my dreams.
I love you BarBelle, let’s never, ever have babies.